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About Varied / Student Member Cielle T. Merbien16/Female/United States Group :iconfictionwillliveon: FictionWillLiveOn
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heaven-is-lonely
Cielle T. Merbien
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
"10 POINT" COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN. SEE THIS JOURNAL FOR DETAILS. ASKS ARE ALSO OPEN. QUESTIONS ARE WELCOME.

I AM THE SATAN SPAWN, THE TERRIFYING PUFFBALL OF FIRE, THE PEOPLE MCNUGGET!!! FEAR ME!!!

Requests - Open by SweetDuke Trades - Friends Only by SweetDuke Collaborations - Friends Only by SweetDuke Point Commissions - Open by SweetDuke Gifts - Ask Me by SweetDuke

I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo Anyone can self-harm by marshmallowcookiwolf Earning Respect by GoddessCureMystic Giving Respect by GoddessCureMystic Fandom by TheArtOfNotLikingYou Accidents by GoddessCureMystic Expect by GoddessCureMystic Fight Less by GoddessCureMystic Life by GoddessCureMystic Trust by GoddessCureMystic Amy/Ami by GoddessCureMystic Instincts by GoddessCureMystic Glitch by GoddessCureMystic Music Is A Pair Of Astral Arms Stamp by el-Jimmeister Take time to appreciate life by TheArtOfNotLikingYou Lemon Juice by GoddessCureMystic Chatterbox by iDJPanda Read stamp by regina35nocis I LOVE COLOURED PENCIL by Night-kiss2001 Imagination Stamp by Armzulite Stamp: Ciel Phantomhive Three by mi-kuo Sebastian Stamp by Stamperella Honestly by MonotoneJynx Ciel x Lizzy Stamp by Skittledeedoo Another random stamp by MenInASuitcase I walk into Random Objects by Dragon-of-Midnight Random Kind Comment Stamp by Mirz123 spread the love by Krissi001 I'm Not Random by obsidianstamps Random Stamp by sam-ely-ember Random Stamp 1 by dragonstar10 Random Stamp by Drake1 eat flesh stamp by thechaosproject Random Stamp 3 by dragonstar10 Random Stamp 2 by dragonstar10 My gallery has No Theme by Ash-Dragon-wolf ninja squirrel stamp by war-armor Random Stamp 4 by dragonstar10 Stamp: Support MS Paint by xxsomeoneelsexx Nothing I Say Makes Sense Stmp by TOXiC-ToOtHpAsTe I have too many Messages by Dragon-of-Midnight Alois Stamp 1 by cakoir WUT Stamp by Drake1 thanks to hetalia... by sugarbearkitty Sebby stamp by Tkaczka STAMP: Team Phantomhive by madelezabeth Rock Star by fricken-pimp APH - Nordic Stamp by Gabbi Procrastination Stamp by SweetDuke Day Dreamer Stamp by Sora05 Wishful Thinking by whispwill Hopeless Dreamer by SsGirlo I Love The Rain by Wearwolfaa Sherlock Holmes STAMP by ForeverSonu :.Stamp::Doctor Who Quote.: by LordOfPastries Professional Stamp by saporion merlin stamp by AcraViolet Smile I Dare You stamp by smilekeeper

When people first meet me, they usually ask if I'm Scottish or British because I like to mess with people and use a Scottish accent. I have trained for a while now to speak with one and can on a whim but I'm just saying, I am American, born and partially raised, not Scottish, British, or Irish (another one of my mess around favourites). I do however sometimes use terminology or spelling. So just deal w/ it.

I SUPPORT THE HOLIDAY CARD PROJECT!!! Holiday Card Project Stamp by Heidi

Capstone: diabetesinsight
Ask-The-Antarctic: Ask-The-Antarctic
Ask-3p-Hetalia: Ask-3p-Hetalia
Ask-America-States: Ask-America-States
Ask-VK-Guardians: Ask-VK-Guardians
Ask-Night-Class: Ask-Night-Class
School Art Club Account: ASUPrepArtClub
Ask-The-UAE: Ask-The-UAE
Ask-TDIP: Ask-TDIP

My friends IRL: :icongamer-dragon: :iconpoizenlulu: :iconhundred-nine: :iconbronaldo9000: :icontravelersdaughter: :iconthisdeviantart: :iconmastermcbeatmixer: :iconusay13: :iconsupreme-hamster-over: :icons0n0falc0n:

--
"It's my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff!" - The Doctor; Doctor Who
"High-functioning sociopath. With your number." - Sherlock Holmes; Sherlock
"Well, don't think too hard. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." - Merlin; Merlin
Interests

Activity


  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Eli the Good
Day 28 (Jan. 28th, 2015) - Something that you miss.
                Aw, something I miss? Hmm...I miss the good old days when I could just hang out with friends and didn't
                have to worry about school work being pushed back or anything, or when I wasn't panicking about getting
                into college and when I was more innocent to life.

                But I guess that those are the things that made me grow up more and made me feel like I actually could
                take on the adult world at my young age. They've given me the friends that I have now, the confidence
                and courage that I have now, and I don't think I would really want those to change, no matter how much it
                hurt to get this point.

                Something that I definitely miss, for sure, is my parents actually letting me do things without worrying about
                me all the time. I haven't had my phone for 2 years now because they worry too much about me doing
                stuff. And I know that sounds bratty and they just care for me and all that, but then they get a little upset
                when they think that none of my friends care about me because they don't call me on my house phone and
                it's kind of hard to explain to them that most people either text or IM nowadays. .-. Face But what's a gal to do
                about it? I'll just wait until I graduate and they have to give me one because I'll be going off to college. I'll
                probably end up paying for it and whatnot, but I can do it. I am going to get that Barnes&Noble job, no
                matter what I have to do or where it is, I will get that bookseller job.

                Tomorrow, I'll be setting some goals for myself for this next month and hopefully, I can go through with
                them. Two Thumbs Up

                (Oh, little aside for you guys, just a little update about my life, I might have gotten this one guy
                at my school into some serious civil court juju by telling my principal that he was speeding
                and running stop signs by my school's elementary section's parking lot. The next day, he told me
                that he knows he broke about 4 different traffic laws and then the day after that he tells me that
                the school's trying to get him on vaping charges but they don't have enough evidence so they're
                trying to get him on the traffic law violations, even though he didn't do anything seriously wrong.
                So yeah, that happened this last week. And so many of my friends at school are siding with him just
                because they think he's properly exercising his rights. I on the other hand think that they are all
                wrong and that he is just exercising his stupidity. If your tires squealed, it means you peeled! If
                you don't halt at the stop sign, it means you ran the freaking stop sign! If there are three different
                witness accounts all saying that you did something you weren't supposed to and you try to prove
                that you're not guilty, it's not going to work out very well! Stop being a freaking baby and learn to
                accept that you've done something wrong, you moron! *Angry rant is now over*)
Day 29 (Jan. 29th, 2015) - Goals for the next 30 days.
                Bullet Bill Complete another 5 artworks
                Bullet Bill Practice audition monologues for at least 10 minutes every day
                Bullet Bill Memorize partner scene for drama class a little bit every day
                Bullet Bill Organize more
                Bullet Bill Get first video edited
                Bullet Bill Finish learning how to play "Someone Like You" accompaniment on the piano and violin
                Bullet Bill Love more, laugh more, smile more
                Bullet Bill Get some more brainstorming done (gamer-dragon, we should work on that...)
                Bullet Bill Eat more cookies because cookies are awesome
                Bullet Bill Get closer to graduating with better grades so colleges don't kick me out
Day 30 (Jan. 30th, 2015) - Your highs and lows of this month.
                So I've had a good number of highs, but an almost equal number of lows this month. So I'm going to start
                by listing the lows so that I can end on a much higher note.

                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I've got some minor, not-really-visible abrasions around my neck from a belt that I recently tried to off
                      myself with
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I might be losing a close friend of mine because he's been really bitter towards me (I think he's just
                      being a tad bit whiny because he doesn't have a special female that he can consider to be near and
                      dear to him)
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I had a tiny relapse not too long ago
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I've been getting into more fights than usual (not physical fights, no, those days are over for me)
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet The once very clear line of who I can really call my friends has blurred a tiny bit

                But don't let all of this depressing stuff get you down! I've had some good days this month!
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I got to make gamer-dragon a Jell-O cake for his birthday
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I've been able to hang out with my friends a lot more
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet There are actual tiny people who actually love seeing me
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I've gotten a tiny bit more courageous in talking to people now (THANK YOU hanging around my best
                      friend a lot and drama class!)
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I have a "bae" now (I use this term sarcastically, of course, but she's a friend of mine that I got to
                      bond with this month)
                Pixelist - FTU Block Bullet I ACTUALLY TALKED WITH THREE DIFFERENT CRISIS COUNSELORS!!!!
                F2U: Bouncy Pig Bullet I don't really have anything else, I just really wanted to use this piggy bullet point because.....bullet
                      oink.......

                This was really fun for me to do, because each one of these made me think. Some of them were easier than
                others, and some of them were sillier than others, but all in all, this was actually really fun.
                Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you have been. Love you guys!! Jordan blowing a kiss(Gif)
Identity Paper Cut Portrait (WiP#2) by heaven-is-lonely
Identity Paper Cut Portrait (WiP#2)
I chose the identity of "religion", since that is something that defines me A LOT. So almost everything in this paper cut has something to do with my religion and church in some way.
Loading...
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Eli the Good
So that is still going on right now. I have lowered all of my commission prices as low as dA would allow me to.

So any commission requests that people send in are going to be worth 10 points until the 31st of May (weird cut off, I know, but that's around the time that I finish school so that's the date I'm going with).
Thanks for your love guys!Jammin'

- Teddy
  • Listening to: Stand In The Rain - Superchick
  • Reading: Eli the Good by Silas House
Day 09 (Jan. 9th, 2015) - How you hope your future will be like.
                Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! This is a fabulous one. So, I'm an anxious person, and nothing makes me more
                anxious than thinking about the future and the fact that everything I have been my entire 16 (almost 17~!)
                years of existence could potentially change after I graduate and if that isn't the most horrifying things for
                an anxious person, then shut up, because it is. A good majority of my friends are turning 18 this year so
                they have the potential to move out this summer and I'll have just turned 17 so I'll either be stuck with my
                family for another year, or I'll be a minor for another year, surrounded by and in classes with people years
                older than me (I hope I never have a "fire" situation because I'll be horrified and I'll have to go back to
                therapy...). I'll have to meet new people, make new friends (because I'm pretty sure that I won't have a
                single friend around when/if I leave my state), and potentially start my life all over again.
                AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

                Okay, so all I really hope for in my future is that the dear people I have selected to be my partners in
                crime, mainly my boys, gamer-dragon, S0n0falc0n, USAY13, and Supreme-Hamster-Over
                will not forget me and that I'll actually be able to make the proper decisions and do the things I have to do
                in order to become successful and make something of myself. Hopefully, I'll make some new friendships and
                connections too (which I'm actually kind of looking forward to). Maybe my YouTube thing will actually work
                for me. Who knows what the future will be like? Well, they do say that the future is what we make of it.
Day 10 (Jan. 10th, 2015) - Discuss your first love and first kiss.
                Oh this is a joyous topic -_- Not really my favorite things to really think about, much less talk about, so I'm
                going to make it short and simple. I was 14 when I was first "in love" (if I could go back in time, I'd probably
                go back to then and punch myself in the face, because WHAT THE HECK WAS I THINKING?!?!?!) and
                technically had my first kiss. I don't remember much about that specific moment (because I've been trying
                really hard to suppress the thought, obviously), but I remember that I was walking down the hallway with
                my "boyfriend" and he leaned over to me to tell me something (the hallway was SILENT and we were the
                only ones in the halls after school) and I decided then to look over at him and then bam, our lips
                accidentally touched. Then I remember turning away and then almost running out of the school building
                because I was really confused and had no idea what had just happened. Seriously though, I went home
                right after that and I think I cried for like 2 hours...I don't know, I was 14, and it was the beginning of my
                depression journey, so I was just really emotional then and so yeah...I cried about it for a while. After we
                "broke up", I sort of made the goal not to kiss another guy on the mouth until I was at least engaged
                (which I'm not so sure will happen just because of the kind of girl that I am XD).........I'm totally okay with
                giving guys light pecks on the cheek, I give them to my dad and a handful of guy friends, because I'm
                affectionate like that (I hope they don't mind...if they do, they haven't told me). But I've tried to avoid lips,
                which I've actually been doing pretty well with, but I don't know how long that's going to last (going strong
                for 3 years this March~ I wish I was this good at staying clean :P I just passed two months though)........I
                guess it just depends on if something actually works out with a special guy XD Anyway, yeah, tried making
                this short. Having a "boyfriend" at 14 was horrible for me, and him being my "first kiss" or whatever was
                worse. Bleh.
Day 11 (Jan. 11th, 2015) - Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

                1. Stand In The Rain - Superchick
                2. Funny Little World - Alexander Rybak
                3. I'll Be There For You - The Remembrandts
                4. Time - Hans Zimmer
                5. Die Alone - Ingrid Michaelson
                6. The Lonely - Christina Perri
                7. Words As A Weapon - Birdy
                8. Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
                9. Ready Aim Fire - Imagine Dragons
                10. Roll With The Wind - Alexander Rybak

                These are all fabulous songs in my opinion and definitely worth listening to (especially Afterlife by Ingrid
                Michaelson!!! That song is a serious life saver. It's super upbeat and fun to dance to :P).
Day 12 (Jan. 12th, 2015) - Bullet your whole day.
                I hope you guys are prepared for this. I actually bulleted my whole day in my notebook from the moment I
                woke up. The first time. :P
                Bullet; Black Woke up at 4AM; turned off alarm and went back to sleep
                Bullet; Black Woke up at 5AM; turned off alarm and went back to sleep (again)
                Bullet; Black Woke up at 6AM; turned off alarm and got out of bed
                Bullet; Black Got ready for school while nursing some sick people
                Bullet; Black Left the house for school at 7:41AM
                Bullet; Black Barely made it on time for first hour (7:45AM)
                Bullet; Black First hour (independent study) (7:45AM to 8:35AM)
                Bullet; Black Walked over to Cedar Hall for second hour (8:35AM)
                Bullet; Black Second hour (A Level Art and Design) (8:40AM to 9:30AM)
                Bullet; Black Walked over to Santa Catalina Hall for third hour (9:30AM)
                Bullet; Black Third hour (IGCSE Drama) (9:35AM to 10:25AM); ate some of my lunch in the middle of class
                Bullet; Black Walked back to Main Building for fourth hour (10:25AM)
                Bullet; Black Fourth hour (AS Level Chemistry) (10:30AM to 11:20AM); Worked in chem. group for 10 minutes, finished
                    group project, and then derped around on Tumblr and YouTube
                Bullet; Black Went to fifth hour (11:20AM)
                Bullet; Black Fifth hour (A Level English Literature) (11:25AM to 12:15PM); discussed the N word and racism (fun.......)
                Bullet; Black Lunch (12:20PM to 12:45PM); ate chicken and rice while debating scientific theories and transhumanism
                Bullet; Black Sixth hour (U.S. Government) (12:50PM to 1:40PM); silently worked on 4th Amendment packet
                Bullet; Black Seventh hour (A Level Probability and Statistics) (1:45PM to 2:35PM)
                Bullet; Black Learning Lab (2:40PM to 3:10PM)
                Bullet; Black Went home and watched Netflix for about 2 hours
                Bullet; Black Started working on CHM 101 and other homework
                Bullet; Black Started typing this out
                Bullet; Black Ate dinner (8:05PM)

                And that's my day up until this very minute. This has been just different for everyone involved.
Day 13 (Jan. 13th, 2015) - Somewhere you'd like to move or visit.
                Alrighty, so I wouldn't want to really move anywhere, because I have moved so many times in my life and
                I'm just sick of that stuff now. But I would definitely travel to places with someone or a group of someones.
                I would seriously love to visit the U.K., mainly because I have distant extended family of my dad's side living
                there. To be specific, I'd really like to visit Lancashire in England, since that's where my great-grandfather
                was born. I've also got some family in Ireland and Scotland (specifically where, I don't know), so I'd really
                like to visit there. But I am terrified of flying on my own, I don't know why, so I wouldn't go alone. So I
                don't think I'll really end up visiting those places any time soon. :P

                Sorry for this really uninformative one, it's one of my brothers' birthdays today so I've got other things going
                on in my brain.
Day 14 (Jan. 14th, 2015) - Your earliest memory.
                Oh, this is a fun one!! I am never going to forget or doubt what my very first memory was. EVER.
                I definitely remember that I was 5, almost 6 years old. My family was moving across the way from one
                apartment complex to another, and I remember feeling very important for a smidgen because I was given
                the very important task of carrying a tiny box of my books and toys (which I still remember to be a white
                rabbit doll in a green dress with a pink flower pattern and a tiny white teddy bear, because I still have those
                with me today and they're going off to college with me later on). But then I realized that I was fully aware
                of what was going on so I continued walking, with a very confused and puzzled look on my face because it
                was the moment when my brain decided to properly store memories and I didn't fully understand what was
                going on around me.

                So yeah, that's my very first memory. What do you recall as your first memory, I'd love to know.
Day 15 (Jan. 15th, 2015) - Your favorite websites.
                Bullet point time!!!!!
                Bullet; Black DeviantART (I'm in my fourth year here)
                Bullet; Black Facebook (I actually really like the functionality of the site, even if some people don't)
                Bullet; Black YouTube (Hahahahaha...YouTube is a weird abyss of weird)
                Bullet; Black Etsy (I have found so much inspiration on there)
                Bullet; Black Tumblr (Of course, I freaking love Tumblr!!! It's also a very weird abyss of very weird)

                Those are all of the ones my brain could come up with, since it just exploded at the realization that college]
                is going to be a scary hell for me and that if my family of friends chooses to ignore while I'm there, I'm going
                to be very depressed and I'll eventually have what danisnotonfire calls an "existential crisis". Yay for
                growing up and potentially becoming a fake adult during my freshman year! (I'll be like starting high school
                all over again, crap...........).
Day 16 (Jan. 16th, 2015) - Your views on mainstream music.
                So I like listening to music. A lot. Music is a big thing that defines me and a lot of my friends (I think almost
                all of my friends are musicians...... O.O Life realization!). I don't like most of the songs that are considered
                mainstream. This society doesn't seem to really like the music that I seem to like and I'm pretty sure that a
                good majority of my friends might agree with me on that. I tend to stay away from the mainstream world
                just because when everyone starts talking about it, it gets really annoying and bothersome when someone
                mentions the same thing that another person said every 5 seconds. Yeah...so I guess I think mainstream
                music is annoying and sometimes a bit ratty and whatnot, but I guess I'm trying really hard to not just
                "artists" on their "artwork" too "critically" because everyone sees "art" differently.

                Way to go Teddy, fabulous use of the "excessive" quote marks. :P
Day 17 (Jan. 17th, 2015) - Your highs and lows of this past year.
                Okay so I didn't have time to do this on the actual day so I'm going to take the time to do it now, sorry!

                So highs of the past year....
                Bullet; Black Being in the Gilbert Arizona LDS Temple's Cultural Celebration
                Bullet; Black Finding out that I actually liked a guy who was not a pot head or thug like last couple of times, for once
                        (heaven help me because I'll probably get myself killed one day for hanging out with these kinds
                        of people....)

                Bullet; Black Becoming friends with Cody, Jenna, and Goose
                Bullet; Black Turning 16 (the celebration of the day of my birth has always been...interesting)
                Bullet; Black Being able to hang out with my boys a lot more now I had turned 16
                Bullet; Black Meeting a new friend at a party thing that I went to during the summer (I went to not one, not two,
                        but THREE parties during the summer. Look at me, having some form of a social life)

                Bullet; Black Getting my blood drawn for the first time and then passing out in my living room (resulting in a minor
                        concussion! :D)

                Bullet; Black Going on my first date the following evening
                Bullet; Black Starting my senior year of high school
                Bullet; Black Finding out that my best friend's family loves me (one of the happiest days of my life, seriously)
                Bullet; Black Deciding that I was going to start a YouTube channel

                Some lows of the past year....
                Bullet; Black Finding out that there was a medical term for my chronic sadness: "depression"
                Bullet; Black When I relapsed multiple times in one month
                Bullet; Black When I openly told certain people about my depression and relapses
                Bullet; Black When I openly told the dA community about it
                Bullet; Black When I went in to counselling/therapy for the first time
                Bullet; Black Relapsing again a couple months later

                As you can see, there is more highs than lows that I listed and it's because I had some seriously amazing
                friends that gave me a chance and listened to me when I needed it most. So my advice bit for the end of
                this section here is that if you don't have friends who make you feel like you can talk to them about
                anything or that make you feel like your life isn't worth what it is, then you're better off just finding some
                new friends. Don't worry about "replacing" them or anything like that. They're not uplifting you and you just
                don't feel comfortable around them, simple as that. It's exactly like a relationship. If it wasn't working out
                between you and your girlfriend/boyfriend, you wouldn't continue to be in that relationship where you aren't
                happy, so why stay in a friendship that doesn't make you happy?
Day 18 (Jan. 18th, 2015) - Your beliefs.
                I really do consider this to be a touchy subject for some people so if you want to just skip this one and
                move on, I'll let you. I know that some people don't feel comfortable about it (like one of my friends) so I
                won't judge you. Hug

                Right, so I've openly told anyone whose following me on any of my social media that I am a member of The
                Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (A.K.A., LDS, or the Mormons). And I'm not going to go into a
                whole preachy rant about what we're about or how I think that every single thing that we're taught is right
                and whatnot like some other people might, because even I've had doubts in the past about it (just like
                everything else in my life). But I will say that regardless of all the doubts that I've had, I now firmly believe
                in what I was taught growing up and that no one or thing in the world could make me doubt or lose faith in
                my beliefs, ever again.

                Sometimes I get mocked or ridiculed for the things I did in the past when I had my doubts, or for the things
                I believe in, but that doesn't make me want to stop believing. If anything, it makes me want to believe more
                because what I know to be true makes me happy. My church and my religion is my happy place and it gives
                me even the smallest sliver of hope when everything else is just darkness. It's how I was able to meet all of
                my closest friends (even the ones who aren't of my faith) and I don't know what I would do if I hadn't met
                them. I've met some of the most inspirational people and fallen in love with the most inspirational things. I
                found something that truly gave me hope and I held onto that firmly and there's no way in heck that I'm
                letting it go.

                I'm sure this sounds like I'm saying that my religion is the best and all that, but I'm not really trying to say
                that. The point I'm trying to get across and am hopefully getting across is that I chose to hold onto
                something and grow with it, that I really do attribute most of the good things in my life to how I've decided
                to live it in these last 2 years. Generally, the lifestyle that you choose to live is what ultimately determines
                the kind of person that you are and how people see you in your everyday life.

                #immormonandimproud
Day 19 (Jan. 19th, 2015) Disrespecting your parents.
                Just don't do it, okay? I'll admit, I don't like listening to my parents all the time. I'm a teenager, and I
                sometimes like to think that I know more about today's society more than them, but in all honesty, just
                listen them, because even though society's views have changed from their days, the basic things that go
                on in our lives (school, work, dealing with parents, friends, relationships, family, etc.) were also the basic
                things that went on in their lives. They had to deal with all that crazy stuff when they were growing up too,
                trust me, they were once teenagers too (obviously), but sometimes we forget that. Think about the things
                that they tell you or try to teach you and think about what you would do if you were a parent with a
                teenager. What would you tell them? Probably the same thing that your parents tell you. So suck it up, and
                just listen to them, no matter how much they "annoy" you.

                This advice does not apply if you feel like what they're telling you to do would hurt you physically, mentally,
                or emotionally in anyway. If that is your situation and you feel like that's going to happen then by all means,
                defy them.
Day 20 (Jan. 20th, 2015) - How important do you think education is?
                So, I'm big about education (and if you say it's because I'm half-Asian, you're racist...or am I being racist
                by thinking that other people with immediately be racist??? Hmm.....), obviously, since I'm deciding on
                moving on to post-secondary education. At first, I only decided to go to college because I was one of
                those people who actually thought, "Everyone else is going to college so that means I have to go too!"
                (way to hop on the bandwagon Teddy...way to go...) but then I understood more that I didn't really have
                to if I didn't want to and that it was my choice. So I've made the choice to pursue theatre studies at either
                BYU (any of the three campuses), ASU (to live at home), or end up attending The American Academy of
                Dramatic Arts...if I get accepted into any of those schools. And I'm terrified to move out because I'll still be
                a minor when/if I do. That's terrifying to know (literally one of my worst fears is that everyone around me is
                going to throw a huge party to celebrate me not being around for a while.... Really Sad). But it's okay, because I
                know I have my awesome quad of guy friends who won't forget me (:cheer up hug:). And when I'm away doing
                heaven knows what and just freaking out about everything (Spaz attack :updated:), they'll be around to calm me down.

                "Teddy...you're going on a tangent again....." (Slap or Shut Up Emote) Okay, time to focus on the actual prompt (:focusing: )...
                Super long story cut short, I really think that education is important because knowledge is what separates
                people from idiots and knowing things will do you good. Also, remember that "knowledge is power, and power
                corrupts". So study hard, be evil, and take over the world with your smartnesses!!!
Day 21 (Jan. 21st, 2015) - One of your favorite shows.
                *le gasp* Did I read that the prompt said "one"?!?!?! That is nasty for me because I have too many
                favorites. I guess I'll just pick the one that I watch most nowadays, and that would be L&O:SVU (that's
                "Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit, for those of you who didn't know that). I'm taking U.S. government at
                school because good ol' Arizona requires that class to graduate (and I didn't like it at first, but now I'm
                learning all the ways to avoid being arrested and it's great! Go Constitution and Amendments! :P). Anyway,
                I always loved watching the show, but when the school year started and I walked into that class, I began
                taking the things I learned in that class and applied them to the fictional SVU (I proudly don my nerd title)
                and then I went from falling into the story line to scrutinizing how accurately the show portrayed how the
                U.S. legal system worked in addition to the whole story line thing. And my goodness, I just fell in love even
                more. And I really like their anti-abuse PSA, I think that it's really nice to know that it might just be a bunch
                of fictional stories but they recognize that the things that are portrayed in the show can and do happen
                sometimes and they're using the advantage of their wide audience to raise awareness for it. Good on them!
                I seriously love the show for the factual application of the law and that they can actually get me to focus
                on my schoolwork outside of school (I actually have SVU episodes running while I do my government
                homework....yeap....y'all should know by now that I'm a ridiculously big nerd XD). Stuff like that is what
                keeps my "professional acting" dream alive.

                Also, most people who watch the show, agree or should agree that Sergeant Olivia Benson is just
                    one of the most freaking BA characters of all time (and Taylor Swift named one of her two cats after
                    her which is just awesome). Japan emote

Day 22 (Jan. 22nd, 2015) - How have you changed in the past 2 years?
                O.O ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME THIS? A truckload of stuff has changed in the past 2 years!! I don't
                even know where to begin!! Bullet point time!!
                Bullet; Black A lot of the things that I was super interested in 2 years ago are sort of like back-burner interests now
                (anime, mainly, was a big one that people generally associated with me that's become more of a back-
                burner interest)
                Bullet; Black I'm not as violent as I was 2 years ago (to other people :P). Actually, I went through a weird goth phase
                from the end of 8th grade up until the beginning of 10th grade....yeap, that whole freshman year...which is
                why all the pops tend to stay away from me. I think I actually threatened to stab a girl because she kept
                saying something about me watching hentai and whatnot (she was, is, and always will be a knock off
                butthole who thinks she's so much cooler than everyone else just because she goes to our school and is
                super girly but still likes to go hunting and crash through dunes....she is the freaking stereotypical white girl,
                just saying) so I threatened to stab her and then 2 weeks later (after I forgot all about it and ended my
                weird goth phase because of my new boyfriend at the time) got called into the office of one of my former
                principals and was able to play it off so well that I was in and out in 5 minutes. My entire life before junior
                year is just a whole mess of "What on earth is life?"
                Bullet; Black I have an almost completely new group of friends than I had two years ago. I have dropped contact with
                all but 2 of my friends from sophomore year.
                Bullet; Black I swear a lot less than I did back in 10th grade. Trust me guys, my personality is completely different
                from when I was 14 and really stupid and me being 16 now and less really stupid. I ran my mouth so much
                and I had a serious problem, but that's generally all cleared up now.
                Bullet; Black A bit grimmer than the other changes, but I'm more depressed than I was at 14. Sophomore year, around
                the end I think, was the year I "experimented" with cutting and I didn't really know what being depressed
                really meant, but looking back on my life then, I would have slapped my young self in the face and told her
                to straighten up a bit because if she didn't her life is going to and did turn out to be nasty very soon (but
                not everything is nasty about my life right now!)
                Bullet; Black Little bit of comic relief, so I'm going to be SUPER obvious and say that I'm 2 years older now (well, duh,
                obviously)
                Bullet; Black I actually have a best friend and then a friend who's close enough to be a second best friend. I like
                friends, they make me feel happy and light-hearted.
                Bullet; Black My strength and faith in my religion has grown a LOT from the time I was 14. I used to only go to church
                because my dad made me, and then I met my best friend a couple of months later so that was a bit of
                motivation for me to go, and then it wasn't until 4 months after that, in January of 2014, that I made the
                decision to go because I wanted to go and then March came along and I honestly think that at 14 I could
                have swayed to either side, but now I totally know that my religion was, is, and always will be the right one
                for me.

                So yeah, I've done an almost complete 180 of the violent, weird goth, swearing, religiously-failing individual
                that I was at 14 (not a pretty picture, trust me) and become a slightly more refined and defined weirdo with
                any idea of what life has in store for her. :happy:
Day 23 (Jan. 23rd, 2015) - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
                :lol: Get ready for my freaky obsession time guys.*Free Icon/Emote* Nutella Pusheen (OMG)

                Bullet; Black Obviously, since he's my current avatar, he's number one on the list: Colin freaking Morgan (I adore this
                man, he inspired me to take up performance again). O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D.Merlin animated emoticon
                
                Bullet; Black Then there's Bradley James
                
                Bullet; Black This adorable thing and Alexander Vlahos
                
                Bullet; Black I just think Tyler Oakley is attractive in the sense that he is like an adorable little bunny (also another
                inspiration of mine!)
                
                Bullet; Black And I don't really have another one to put here so I'm going to put yet another inspiration of mine (after
                watching him in Ender's Game, Hugo, and Merlin), Asa Butterfield (that last name though)
                

                Okay, so yeah, 5 famous guys that are either attractive or inspire me in some way. Have fun with that
                weirdos.
Day 24 (Jan. 24th, 2015) - Your favorite movie and what it's about.
                Okay, I was totally talking to one of my good friends about it today so this is a very apropos prompt.
                It really depends on the media the movie is made through. If you're talking about animated movie, definitely
                Howl's Moving Castle. I seriously love that movie and anyone willing to sit through it with me is
                automatically on my favorite person list. A synopsis and description of the movie is, you can clicky the
                clicky thingy here.

                If you're asking about my favorite live action movie, probably Rigoletto, just because of the music in it and
                the "lesson" the movie has taught me. It'd take to long to talk about it and it would spoil the movie so you
                can read the synopsis by doing the clicky thingy with the clicky thingy
                <a href="www.imdb.com/title/tt0107961/&…. If you're willing to watch this movie with me
                while I cry my soul out, you're awesome and I will love you in copious amounts.

                I love other movies too, but those are the ones that made me both cry and fall in love with acting the most
                so I just love them to death. I totally think everyone should give them a try.
Day 25 (Jan. 25th, 2015) - Someone who fascinates you and why.
                Ugh, there are just so many people that I think "fascinate" me; friends, family, classmates, teachers,
                strangers, etc. I'll go with a group of people that fascinates me: my friends. I know that I talk about my
                friends A LOT on here, and that's kind of why. I love my friends to bits and then some, but sometimes, I
                have a hard time understanding them. Sometimes, I can definitely read they're words or their expressions
                and make serious sense out of them, but then sometimes, they do things and I just can't make sense of it. I
                have one friend would, nowadays, sort of acts like he doesn't really care for me that much (which is what I
                read from him) but acts like we're the best of chums and even responds to certain things when I mention
                the words "best friend" (like, I'll mention something casual about my best friend and then he'll say, "No I
                don't," or "Yeah, I do," only to act disappointed when I tell him that he's not the best friend, just one of
                them). Honestly, how am I supposed to read that and not be a heck ton load of confused?? Then I have
                another friend who falls into different moods at different times of the day and he acts completely different
                each time and he's really confusing to hang out with (as much as I love him). This is my only real problem
                with having mainly guy friends; I can't ever really read them without getting some seriously messed up
                mixed signals.

                Can I just say that just like guys don't get subtle hints when girls put them out there, girls don't really
                understand a lot of the "subtle" hints that guys put out there. Just....if you want someone to actually
                understand what you mean, JUST TELL THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO BE SUPER MEGA CONFUSED!!!!
                WE ARE NOT FREAKING SHERLOCK HOLMES GUYS (of course, I am referring to guys in the literal sense)!!! If
                we all just told each other what we really thought, ther would be less drama and confusion in everyone's
                lives. So if my really-confusing-friend-who-can't-decide-whether-or-not-he-hates-me, my sometimes-
                moody-friend, and even my super-awesome-but-just-as-confusing best friend would honestly just say what
                they were actually trying to say without any subtle hints, I think that we'd all just get along a lot nicer and
                I wouldn't have really confusing dreams where one of them is sleeping in my bathtub and I wake going
                "Whadahekisdatcarp?" and just be even more confused because they're confusingness is invading my private
                nighttime dreams!

                *end of rant prompt, thank you for your time. check in tomorrow when I tell you all about the kind
                of person that I'm attracted to...fun, right?*
Day 26 (Jan. 26th, 2015) - What kind of person attracts you.
                Yeah, all you weirdos out there, this ones for you (and for the not weirdos too, I guess). First off, excuse
                my derpiness, I've been like this all day, spamming people with weird messages (mostly "DEMONIC
                CHUCKLE") and I don't know how much longer this "giggliness" is going to last so bear with me.
                So, this is a funny one, because about 3 weeks or so ago, a friend of mine who happened to have taken a
                particular interest in me and he asked me if I thought he was "attractive". Being the snarky flirt that I am, I
                told him that I found "attractiveness" to be a relative concept and that the idea of what is "attractive"
                depended on who he was asking (yeap, an actual male was flirting with me and that's what I said to him...I
                went all logical and nerdy on him, and he finds "nerdy" to be cute so that didn't help me...at all). He told me
                that he was asking me what I thought was attractive and I told him that I didn't really have an idea as to
                what I considered to be "attractive", but there are certain qualities that I happen to be drawn to, so I
                guess I do have some idea as to what I think is "attractive"...

                So, the gist of it is that, if you're quirky, act around me the same way you would around your mother, are
                truthful, genuine, and you know that you wouldn't be the kind of person to make me do something
                detrimental to myself physically, mentally, or emotionally, I guess we'll get along just nicely. I wonder if this
                makes me sound too innocent and vulnerable...... :shrug: rvmp

                There you go. Tomorrow, you get to read about my problems. Fun, right?!
Day 27 (Jan. 27th, 2015) - A problem that you have had.
                So it's story time now chillens.

                By now, y'all should know that I've been battling a horrible enemy known as a chronic depressive disorder
                (sometimes referred to as "dysthymia", I think). A good majority of the people I associate closely with
                (meaning close friends) have had some form of depression in their lifetime, either during or before high
                school (which breaks my little heart), but it hardly ever seems like it was ever a thing that existed for them.
                For me, it's always eating at my mind and poking me in the consciousness. It's in the things that people say
                to me, the things that I read, the things I hear, and the things that I see all around me. It's always
                screaming at me and telling me that I'm not good enough for my friends, for my teachers, for my church
                leaders, for my family, for anyone. I feel this during every waking moment of my life. In fact, if I was to be
                completely honest with you guys, I would tell you that that's how I'm feeling at this very moment while
                typing this. I'm actually talking with a couple of friends about it right now too (the friends that should be
                going to bed but decided not to and stay up for me 
:scared:).

                But just because it's something that's always on my mind doesn't necessarily mean that there are never
                times when I'm really happy or bubbly and whatnot. You can definitely ask any of my friends. There are
                times when I'm legitimately happy with life and all that, but there are still little nagging whispers in my head,
                and there are also times when I've just gotten so good at acting like I'm happy when I'm actually really
                really sad that if I were to be tested on it in my drama class, I'd pass with flying colors.

                But this is all besides the point of the prompt. Sometimes, it gets hard to deal with the problems that seem
                to stem from having depression and then there are some times when the only thing I really need to get me
                off the ground is someone to help me laugh a little. I feel really lucky to have the friends that I do because
                without their support and their love, I definitely would not be able to get through any of the nasty things
                that my thoughts are telling me.

                This probably wasn't what the prompt was really asking, but I took some writing liberties with it. I can do
                that.
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Eli the Good
So that is still going on right now. I have lowered all of my commission prices as low as dA would allow me to.

So any commission requests that people send in are going to be worth 10 points until the 31st of May (weird cut off, I know, but that's around the time that I finish school so that's the date I'm going with).
Thanks for your love guys!Jammin'

- Teddy

Commissions

Word Art (Signature)
Sherlock Signatures by heaven-is-lonely
Sherlock Holmes by heaven-is-lonely
Molly Hooper by heaven-is-lonely
James Moriarty by heaven-is-lonely
Mary Morstan by heaven-is-lonely
John Watson by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE
Word Art (Letter)
A by heaven-is-lonely
Letter A by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE
Word Art (Name Lettering)
BailieTwinOmega by heaven-is-lonely
BailieTwinAlpha by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE
Word Art (Quote)
Cathal Quote by heaven-is-lonely
Choices by heaven-is-lonely
DW Quote#2 by heaven-is-lonely
Just Because... by heaven-is-lonely
Olaf Quote by heaven-is-lonely
For Every Time by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE

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Comments


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:icontssocm:
TSSOCM Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student General Artist
Thanks for the watch~!! Manaka Smile [V1] 
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Mad42Sam Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015
Thank you for the fav :)
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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cheesew97 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015
Thanks for the watch :)
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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love-a-lad-insane Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconthanksforthe01plz::iconthanksforthe02plz::iconthanksforthe03plz::iconthanksforthe04plz:
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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Astral-Blaze Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Student Writer
Thanks for the watch! :+devwatch:
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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MuffinSarah Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fav :hug:
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MuffinSarah Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fav :hug:
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student General Artist
Of course~! Hope you have a fabulous day/night. :D
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:iconthe-skilled:
The-skilled Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  New member
Thank you
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:iconthe-skilled:
The-skilled Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  New member
Thank you!
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Student General Artist
I'm sure exactly for what, but you are very welcome!
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:iconlove-a-lad-insane:
love-a-lad-insane Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for faving my Sherlock drawing!!! :heart:
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:iconluckyflyingfish24601:
luckyflyingfish24601 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the +fav 
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:iconaenea-jones:
Aenea-Jones Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
                     :iconamongststars::icondsfav1plz::icondsfav2plz::icondsfav3plz::iconamongststars: 
:iconlainloveplz:  Some rise, some fall. by Aenea-Jones      :iconlainloveplz:
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:iconfallenphoenixiv:
FallenPhoenixIV Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Student General Artist
thanks for the fav
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:iconthedarangel:
TheDarangel Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014
thanks for the fav :)
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:
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:iconberjhawn:
Berjhawn Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch and the faves :D 
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:iconmay-lene:
May-Lene Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi!

Thank you for :+devwatch: me~

Have a great day! :hug:
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:iconaenea-jones:
Aenea-Jones Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
:iconemptyspaceplz:
:iconlainloveplz: :iconeufrosis: :icongrin--plz: :iconthxwatchbubbleplz: :iconeufrosis:  :iconlainloveplz:
:iconemptyspaceplz:
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:iconboundbybond:
BoundbyBond Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
thankyou~
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