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About Varied / Student Member Cielle T. Merbien16/Female/United States Group :iconfictionwillliveon: FictionWillLiveOn
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heaven-is-lonely
Cielle T. Merbien
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
"10 POINT" COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN. SEE THIS JOURNAL FOR DETAILS. ASKS ARE ALSO OPEN. QUESTIONS ARE WELCOME.

I AM THE SATAN SPAWN, THE TERRIFYING PUFFBALL OF FIRE, THE PEOPLE MCNUGGET!!! FEAR ME!!!

Requests - Open by SweetDuke Trades - Friends Only by SweetDuke Collaborations - Friends Only by SweetDuke Point Commissions - Open by SweetDuke Gifts - Ask Me by SweetDuke

I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo I love Feedback by Sweet-DooDo Anyone can self-harm by marshmallowcookiwolf Earning Respect by GoddessCureMystic Giving Respect by GoddessCureMystic Fandom by TheArtOfNotLikingYou Accidents by GoddessCureMystic Expect by GoddessCureMystic Fight Less by GoddessCureMystic Life by GoddessCureMystic Trust by GoddessCureMystic Amy/Ami by GoddessCureMystic Instincts by GoddessCureMystic Glitch by GoddessCureMystic Music Is A Pair Of Astral Arms Stamp by el-Jimmeister Take time to appreciate life by TheArtOfNotLikingYou Lemon Juice by GoddessCureMystic Chatterbox by iDJPanda Read stamp by regina35nocis I LOVE COLOURED PENCIL by Night-kiss2001 Imagination Stamp by ArmZulite Stamp: Ciel Phantomhive Three by mi-kuo Sebastian Stamp by Stamperella Honestly by MonotoneJynx Ciel x Lizzy Stamp by Skittledeedoo Another random stamp by MenInASuitcase I walk into Random Objects by Dragon-of-Midnight Random Kind Comment Stamp by Mirz123 spread the love by Krissi001 I'm Not Random by obsidianstamps Random Stamp by sam-ely-ember Random Stamp 1 by dragonstar10 Random Stamp by Drake1 eat flesh stamp by thechaosproject Random Stamp 3 by dragonstar10 Random Stamp 2 by dragonstar10 My gallery has No Theme by Ash-Dragon-wolf ninja squirrel stamp by war-armor Random Stamp 4 by dragonstar10 Stamp: Support MS Paint by xxsomeoneelsexx Nothing I Say Makes Sense Stmp by TOXiC-ToOtHpAsTe I have too many Messages by Dragon-of-Midnight Alois Stamp 1 by cakoir WUT Stamp by Drake1 thanks to hetalia... by sugarbearkitty Sebby stamp by Tkaczka STAMP: Team Phantomhive by madelezabeth Rock Star by fricken-pimp APH - Nordic Stamp by Gabbi Procrastination Stamp by SweetDuke Day Dreamer Stamp by Sora05 Wishful Thinking by whispwill Hopeless Dreamer by SsGirlo I Love The Rain by Wearwolfaa Sherlock Holmes STAMP by ForeverSonu :.Stamp::Doctor Who Quote.: by LordOfPastries Professional Stamp by saporion merlin stamp by AcraViolet Smile I Dare You stamp by smilekeeper

When people first meet me, they usually ask if I'm Scottish or British because I like to mess with people and use a Scottish accent. I have trained for a while now to speak with one and can on a whim but I'm just saying, I am American, born and partially raised, not Scottish, British, or Irish (another one of my mess around favourites). I do however sometimes use terminology or spelling. So just deal w/ it.

I SUPPORT THE HOLIDAY CARD PROJECT!!! Holiday Card Project Stamp by Heidi

Capstone: diabetesinsight
Ask-The-Antarctic: Ask-The-Antarctic
Ask-3p-Hetalia: Ask-3p-Hetalia
Ask-America-States: Ask-America-States
Ask-VK-Guardians: Ask-VK-Guardians
Ask-Night-Class: Ask-Night-Class
School Art Club Account: ASUPrepArtClub
Ask-The-UAE: Ask-The-UAE
Ask-TDIP: Ask-TDIP

My friends IRL: :icongamer-dragon: :iconpoizenlulu: :iconhundred-nine: :iconbronaldo9000: :icontravelersdaughter: :iconthisdeviantart: :iconmastermcbeatmixer: :iconusay13: :iconsupreme-hamster-over: :icons0n0falc0n:

--
"It's my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff!" - The Doctor; Doctor Who
"High-functioning sociopath. With your number." - Sherlock Holmes; Sherlock
"Well, don't think too hard. Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." - Merlin; Merlin
Interests

Activity


  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Mockingjay
So I'm not going to ask my parents to put me on meds. I was doing some serious research and I decided that it wasn't the right choice for me. I've made it this far (albeit, there have been MANY relapses) without meds, so why not just go the rest of the way without them right?

I know that I'm going to be really depressed and lonely for the rest of my life but that's how it is when you have chronic depression and BD.

What also swayed my decision was the fact that I've been really sick lately (physically, not just emotionally or mentally) and I've had to take a lot of medicines, mainly pills, and there have been times when I've considered going overboard and just downing the whole bottle. With those thoughts, I've gotten scared of doing anything so I'm staying away from meds for that reason too.

Thanks for all the support guys. I love you all.
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Mockingjay
So, some time a few months back, I was thinking of asking my parents to put me on anti-depressants and prescribed sleeping pills because I had been feeling like crud and secret therapy with friends and specialists wasn't working. And then I made a couple of new friends and they had been helping me through things. Things had been going really great, but now I feel more and more depressed (for reasons that I am very incapable of understanding myself) and I don't want to do something to myself and then regret it later. So I'm trying to see how medication has affected other people to see if it's really worth looking into for myself.

So my question is, have you had any experience with being on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, or other medicinal drugs for chemical imbalances? And would you recommend them for someone like me?
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Mockingjay
This is called the Virgin Tag. I don't really know why but meh.

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done.
Then repost as "I'm __% Virgin" after you are done. Lower number you have the more you've done! 

START: 100%

( ) Smoked.
( ) Drank alcohol.
(x) Cried when someone died.
( ) Been drunk.
( ) Had sex.
( ) Been to a concert.
( ) gotten/given a hand-job.
( ) gotten/given a blow-job.
(x) Been verbally/sexually harassed.
( ) Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 98%

( ) Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
(x) Laughed so hard something came out of your nose. 
( ) Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
(x) Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
( ) Been to prom.
(x) Cried at school.
(x) Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
( ) Went streaking.
( ) Given or received a lap dance.
(x) Had someone of the opposite sex in your room. (Do family members count???)
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 93%

( ) Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
( ) Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
( ) Kissed a stranger.
( ) Hugged a stranger.
( ) Went scuba diving.
( ) Driven a car.
(x) Gotten an x-ray.
(x) Hit by a car. (Oh yeah, that sort of happened a couple weeks ago...fun story....)
(x) Had a party.
( ) Done serious drugs.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%

( ) Played strip poker/darts.
( ) Got paid to strip for someone.
(x) Run away from home.
(x) Broken a bone.
(x) Eaten sushi. (And it is safe to say that while I am EXCELLENT at making it, ingesting it will make me regurgitate.)
( ) Bought porn.
( ) Watched porn.
( ) Made porn.
( ) Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
(x) Been in love. (That's also something that happened in this last year....yeap.)
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 86%

( ) Made Out.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
( ) Laughed yourself to sleep.
(x) Stabbed yourself. (With a pencil. Accidentally. Like 3 times.)
( ) Shot a gun.
(/) Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day. (I will say that I've trash-talked someone, but then I felt really bad about it and made them an apology cupcake. I've made a lot of apology cupcakes in my lifetime....)
(x) Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
(x) Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours. (Merlin marathoning during winter break last year...that was the best...)
(x) Watched an animal die.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 79.5%

( ) Watched a person die.
(x) Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person in the same room.
(x) Pranked somebody.
(x) Put somebody in the hospital. (...............does being born count???)
( ) Sneaked into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
( ) Kissed somebody of the same sex.
( ) Dressed punk.
( ) Dressed goth.
(x) Dressed preppy.
( ) Been to a motocross race.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 75.5%

(x) Avoided somebody.
( ) Been stalked.
( ) Stalked someone.
(x) Met a celebrity. 
(x) Played an instrument.
(x) Ridden a horse.
(x) Cut yourself. 
( ) Bungee jumped.
(x) Ding dong ditched somebody.
( ) Been to a wild party.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 69.5%

( ) Got caught stealing something.
(x) Kicked/punched a guy in the balls. (Haha, yeah.......)
( ) Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
( ) Gone out with your friend's crush.
( ) Gotten arrested.
( ) Been pregnant.
(x) Babysat.
(x) Been to another country.  
( ) 
Set your house on fire.
( ) Had an encounter with a ghost.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 66.5%

( ) Donated your hair to cancer patients. (It's on my bucket list though.)
(x) Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
(x) Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
(x) Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
(x) Sat on your butt all day.
(x) Eaten a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
(/) Had a job. (Not a "real" one.)
(x) Gotten cut from a sports team.
(x) Been called a whore.
( ) Danced like a whore.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 59%

(x) Been mistaken as older/younger than your own age.
(x) Been in a car accident. 
(x) Been told you have beautiful eyes.
(x) Been told you have beautiful hair. 
(x) Been rejected.
(/) Walked out of a restaurant without paying. (Unsure of what you mean by that.....)
(x) Punched someone/slapped someone in the face. (Haha, also a very funny story...)
Total: 52.5%

So I'm 52.5% a life virgin. Okay then.
  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: Afterlife - Ingrid Michaelson
  • Reading: Mockingjay
So I'm not going to ask my parents to put me on meds. I was doing some serious research and I decided that it wasn't the right choice for me. I've made it this far (albeit, there have been MANY relapses) without meds, so why not just go the rest of the way without them right?

I know that I'm going to be really depressed and lonely for the rest of my life but that's how it is when you have chronic depression and BD.

What also swayed my decision was the fact that I've been really sick lately (physically, not just emotionally or mentally) and I've had to take a lot of medicines, mainly pills, and there have been times when I've considered going overboard and just downing the whole bottle. With those thoughts, I've gotten scared of doing anything so I'm staying away from meds for that reason too.

Thanks for all the support guys. I love you all.

Commissions

Themed Crafts
Crest of Hearts by heaven-is-lonely
Crest of Heats Proto by heaven-is-lonely
New Year's, Valentine's, St. Patrick's, Graduation, Back to school, Halloween, Christmas, Birthdays, etc. You name it, I'll try to make it.
Word Art (Signature)
Sherlock Signatures by heaven-is-lonely
Sherlock Holmes by heaven-is-lonely
Molly Hooper by heaven-is-lonely
James Moriarty by heaven-is-lonely
Mary Morstan by heaven-is-lonely
John Watson by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE
Word Art (Letter)
A by heaven-is-lonely
Letter A by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE
Word Art (Name Lettering)
BailieTwinOmega by heaven-is-lonely
BailieTwinAlpha by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE
Word Art (Quote)
Cathal Quote by heaven-is-lonely
Choices by heaven-is-lonely
DW Quote#2 by heaven-is-lonely
Just Because... by heaven-is-lonely
Olaf Quote by heaven-is-lonely
For Every Time by heaven-is-lonely
CUSTOMISABLE

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:icontssocm:
TSSOCM Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student General Artist
:iconthanku4fav1plz::iconthanku4fav2plz::iconthanku4fav3plz: 

LashKomari Kamikita (Smile) [V1] 
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:icontssocm:
TSSOCM Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student General Artist
Thank you very much for joining The Secret Society Of Chocolate Meows~!! Feel free to submit your art work into our gallery so that it can be viewed by our fellow members. We thank you for joining this proud organization~!! If you experience any difficulties please note one of the admins, and we will fix what ever is in error. Have a fantastic day~!! 
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:iconcel140:
Cel140 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2015  Student General Artist
Thank you for the fave! :D
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:iconridesfire:
Ridesfire Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the favorite!
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:iconridesfire:
Ridesfire Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for watching!
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:iconkage58:
kage58 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the favs :D
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TsunamiClan Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2015  New member
Thanks for the fave!
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:iconphantompawprints:
PhantomPawPrints Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the fave :hug:
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:iconthefemaledoctor1073:
TheFemaleDoctor1073 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for enjoying "My Doctor"
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gus-ms Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thank you for following! :D
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:iconbritish-prophetess:
British-Prophetess Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave!
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:icontssocm:
TSSOCM Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015  Student General Artist
Thanks for the watch~!! Manaka Smile [V1] 
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:iconmad42sam:
Mad42Sam Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015   Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav :)
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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cheesew97 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015
Thanks for the watch :)
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconlove-a-lad-insane:
love-a-lad-insane Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconthanksforthe01plz::iconthanksforthe02plz::iconthanksforthe03plz::iconthanksforthe04plz:
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconblooming-snowflake:
Blooming-Snowflake Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Student Writer
Thanks for the watch! :+devwatch:
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconmuffinsarah:
MuffinSarah Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fav :hug:
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MuffinSarah Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the fav :hug:
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:iconheaven-is-lonely:
heaven-is-lonely Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student General Artist
Of course~! Hope you have a fabulous day/night. :D
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:iconthe-skilled:
The-skilled Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
Thank you
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The-skilled Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015
Thank you!
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